Eating disorder therapy and a holistic lens for recovery through mindfulness, cbt, and expressive arts therapies.
The mind, body, and spirit and interconnected. At Ma Zen Space, Megan works from a wellness perspective to nurture individual strengths and wholeness at the core of each individual. Through a holistic lens of wellness and therapy, personal growth will be encouraged and supported along a path of integrated recovery.
Mindfulness complements eating disorder treatment through cognitive behavioral therapy and is effectively backed through research as a technique helpful in preventing relapse. At it’s core, mindfulness encourages compassion - towards self and others - through a nonjudgmental lens of awareness. The nine attitudes of mindfulness can help provide a holistic lens for body image and emotional healing during recovery.
9 Attitudes of Mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn)
Beginners Mind.
Non-Judging.
Acceptance.
Letting Go.
Trust.
Patience.
Non-Striving (Non-doing)
Gratitude
Alongside and integrated with mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can work to shift unhelpful patterns of thoughts, experiences, and emotions. CBT is a research backed treatment modality that offers skills and techniques which can be used for ongoing growth in therapy as well as for relapse prevention.
Lastly, expressive art therapy allows for a depth of expression and exploration of underlying stressors and factors often at the root of an eating disorder. Some experiences do not have words attached to them and art therapy allows an individual to have an additional outlet for expression. Art making allows for a space to investigate thoughts and emotions on another level of awareness. The process creates a holding space for letting go of difficult emotions and provides the potential for discovering and transforming struggle into growth and new possibilities.
If you or a loved one is struggling with an unhealthy relationship with self, food, body image, and eating disordered thoughts, reach out today. Connect with the skills and techniques of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy for releasing unhelpful thoughts, building inner resources for growth, and increasing self compassion to live a life of meaning and connection.
Ma Zen Space offers care at the outpatient level of care. Located in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, sessions are available throughout the state of Pennsylvania via online virtual video sessions. Email Megan Bousquet at info@mazenspace.com to learn more, ask a question, or schedule an initial evaluation.
Anxiety in children - What are the signs and how to help kids with anxiety - Counseling in Philadelphia, PA
“We all need someone who understands.” - Magda Gerber”
Kids, like adults, will have many moments of anxiety throughout life. Anxiety is common. It can also feel overwhelming and result in behaviors that are unexpected. Kids don’t always express anxiety in the ways that adults do. They might act out more, feel difficult, and test limits. They might complain of stomach aches and seem grumpy. You might ask them what is wrong and they might not have the words to explain it. Parenting and helping kids manage anxiety can feel overwhelming, but the first step to managing anxiety it to better understand how it works.
What causes anxiety? It is a natural biological reaction to stress and change. Sometimes children feel anxious about something positive - like a new change. Other times, kids feel anxious about an uncomfortable situation or the unknown. Whatever the reason, kids might need help and guidance to better understand their experiences and learn techniques to work through their feelings.
Often times, parents see tantrums and difficult behaviors as kids acting out and defying our requests. However, they can also be a sign of underlying anxiety. Do you notice any of these signs in your child or adolescent?
Outward Signs of Anxiety in Kids (resource - Child Mind Institute) :
stomach aches
changes in appetite
irritability
trouble sleeping
avoidance behaviors
clingy attachment to caregivers/parent
difficulty focusing
explosive outbursts/tantrums
irritability
Anxiety can present itself in minor and manageable ways. While other times, anxiety impacts a child’s development, relationships, emotional well being, and physical health. Finding space to acknowledge, process, and express anxiety is helpful to encourage emotional wellness throughout the lifespan.
Luckily, there are a variety of techniques that are helpful for treating anxiety including cognitive behavioral therapy, expressive arts therapies, and mindfulness. Cognitive behavioral therapy looks at the interaction between thoughts, experiences, emotions, and behaviors. It is a structured and research backed treatment that can help to better understand root causes of anxiety and work to shift behaviors and unhelpful thoughts to decrease and better manage stressors. Art therapy incorporates art making as a means to identify feelings that children might not have the words to express. Mindfulness is a source of breathing and techniques for regulating the body’s reaction to stress from a physiological and holistic viewpoint which integrates the mind/body connection.
Finding support from a professional can help a child to feel understood will allow both parents and children to learn helpful techniques for acknowledging and managing stressors. Ma Zen Space offers cognitive behavioral therapy, counseling, and therapy for parents, children, and adolescents. Reach out today for support and guidance by emailing info@mazenspace.com and visiting www.mazenspace.com
Postpartum Therapist in Philadelphia - Do I have postpartum depression and anxiety? Talking to a therapist can help you feel more like yourself.
“I don’t feel like myself”.
Not feeling like yourself is a common statement that describes what anxiety and depression may feel like. However, depression and anxiety shows up differently for each person. Postpartum Support international indicates some of the most common but this list is not exhaustive. (https://www.postpartum.net/learn-more/pregnancy-postpartum-mental-health/):
Are you feeling sad or depressed?
Do you feel more irritable or angry with those around you?
Are you having difficulty bonding with your baby?
Do you feel anxious or panicky?
Are you having problems with eating or sleeping?
Are you having upsetting thoughts that you can’t get out of your mind?
Do you feel as if you are “out of control” or “going crazy”?
Do you feel like you never should have become a mother?
Are you worried that you might hurt your baby or yourself?
The weeks and months after the birth of a child are known as the postpartum phase of motherhood. It is a time often mixed with change, joy, transition, challenges, and growth. A moment in a woman’s life that can feel bound by expectations and longing for their own journey. Often times, a variety of factors combine to add to a new mom’s stress that leave her feeling not quite like herself. Society can minimize this postpartum period’s great transition as something that all women must struggle with. However, you don’t have to listen to those who say you’ll get through it, just power through. Supportive counseling and therapy has been shown to help new moms manage stressors and feel more like themselves again.
During pregnancy and motherhood, there are so many books and well intentions from family members and friends offering advice and experiences of motherhood. While they offer insights into experiences of those people, these intentions and portrayals are often not perfectly aligned with our own experience of birth and motherhood. That is because every mother is unique, every child and birth unique, and thus the journey unique. There is not one guidebook or woman who can pave the way for you or offer what will work for you, your child, and your family. This can be an overwhelming and exhausting realization. However, it can also be freeing. If you are able to allow yourself to connect with the journey as it as for you, and not how you envisioned or expected it to be, you can begin to create a path of motherhood that works for you.
The path of motherhood is paved with stones from our own upbringing, messages from society, and expectations of ourselves and our identity as women and mothers. Often times, we don’t even realize we are walking along a path until we notice that it isn’t working and something feels off. Perhaps you have felt this way: alone, unsure of if you were doing the right thing, overwhelmed with the daily obstacles of caring for a newborn and figuring out how to live in a new body and a new identity. You might have reached a point that you don’t feel like yourself anymore. Therapy can help.
The transition to motherhood can bring up issues from your childhood that are unresolved. It can stir up issues of body image, self esteem, and anxiety that you weren’t even aware of. Talking to a therapist about your anxieties, your fears, your insecurities, and your ups and downs can help to create a place of nurturing for you and your journey. It can help you to make sense of everything you are experiencing and to not feel alone. Therapy is a non-judgmental and supportive space for you to grow into this new phase in your life.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by all of the changes and wondering how to manage? Meeting with a therapist can help. Reach out for support by contacting Ma Zen Space and Megan Bousquet by emailing info@mazenspace.com and schedule your free initial consultation. www.mazenspace.com/contact
Pregnancy Loss Support Gathering (currently virtual) Sundays at 2pm
Every Second Sunday at 2pm (currently virtual)
During this group, you will find a safe space of support and connection. Losing a pregnancy at any stage is difficult and you are not alone.
In grieving a loss, it is important to find an emotionally supportive space. In this group we will create a holding space where you can openly and honestly process difficult unresolved thoughts and emotions. There are no two women or losses that are identical and every mother grieves in her own way and in her own time. You will discover a sacred holding space to bear witness to the grief, restructure unhelpful ways of thinking, and create rituals to help process the grief.
email Megan at info@mazenspace.com to learn more or ask a question.
Mindfulness Cloud Meditation for Anxious Thoughts
When you feel overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, it can be helpful to practice a mindfulness meditation to help ground yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness encourages awareness of the present moment that is free from judgement, expectations, and attachment. One technique that some people find helpful is to imagine your thoughts as clouds that are passing by…always shifting and moving.
Cloud Meditation
Have you ever sat, looked up at the sky, and watched as clouds drifted by? The wind sometimes fast and sometimes slow in it’s movements? The shifting shapes that are sometimes fluffy and other times dispersed into nothingness? Clouds offer us a moment to connect with the ever shifting and changing movements of nature, and of ourselves. Emotions and thoughts, like clouds, are ever evolving, ever shifting, and never quite the same. By observing clouds and wind, we can begin to connect with ourselves. Our breath, like the wind, holds the power to shift and move our clouds of thoughts and emotions.
Tara Brach offers a variety of mindfulness meditations that can be helpful during difficult moments. I recommend trying them and practicing them in moments of calm as well as moments of stress. The more you follow guided meditations, the more you will gain experience and begin to be able to create mindful moments for yourself.
The following link is a meditation by Tara Brach.
https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-thought-clouds/
After listening to and participating in the meditation, I encourage you to take a journal and jot down your experience and reflections. What do you notice? Has anything shifted within you? What do you notice about your breath and your thoughts? Your emotions?
Mindfulness provides an opportunity to find space to observe, listen, watch, and reflect. Whether through a podcast or cloud watching, I encourage you today to allow yourself a moment to breathe, to notice, and to expand your awareness and self compassion free from attachment.
Compassion Fatigue
“Burnout Isn’t Just in Your Head. It’s in Your Circumstances….We can fight emotional exhaustion by decreasing demands, increasing support and enhancing control.”
In recent days, weeks, and months, healthcare professionals are increasingly finding themselves in moments of overwhelming emotional stress. As the coronavirus pandemic expands, it is stretching the infrastructure of healthcare systems as well simultaneously stressing and overwhelming the psychological and emotional well being of those healthcare professionals who are on the front lines of treatment and patient care. As a therapist, I have begun to worry about burnout, vicarious traumitization, compassion fatigue, and how to best support those on the front lines caring for others.
“Professionals who work in mental health settings are at risk of developing psychological distress themselves. The term “compassion fatigue” has been used to describe the negative effects of working in a psychologically distressing environment on a person’s ability to feel compassion for others. (Turgoose, D., & Maddox, L. (2017).” Turgoose and Maddox offer two potential protective factors to compassion fatigue:
certain behavioral and cognitive coping styles
mindfulness
Mindfulness and CBT are key components of the supportive counseling sessions I conduct at Ma Zen Space. Through a blend of cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and art therapy, I work with individuals to provide a space for expression and healing.
In a recent article in the New York Times, burnout and compassion fatigue are explored as ever increasing reactions to the stress placed upon medical providers. However, there are ways of increasing support for emotional exhaustion.
Together we can help support those professionals who are might be experiencing these signs of burnout and compassion fatigue. One of the first ways to increase support is to understand the signs of emotional stress and look for them in our colleagues, family, colleagues, and friends, and loved ones.
Some signs of Burnout
chronic fatigue
emotional exhaustion
feeling drained
sleep problems
memory problems
anxiety
depressed mood
apathy
anger /irritability
hopelessness
detachment
isolation
loss of enjoyment
a feeling of giving up / like you can’t keep going anymore.
If you or someone you know is a professional on the front lines of fighting the coronavirus, reach out today to find support. Ma Zen Space is offering reduced fee therapy for these healthcare professionals.
In Philadelphia or throughout Pennsylvania, find support by reaching out today by emailing Megan Bousquet at info@mazenspace.com
www.mazenspace.com
For a nationwide search of providers offering reduced rate therapy for healthcare providers, visit: https://www.coronavirusonlinetherapy.com
Citations
Turgoose, D., & Maddox, L. (2017). Predictors of compassion fatigue in mental health professionals: A narrative review. Traumatology, 23(2), 172–185. https://doi.org/10.1037/trm0000116https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-09426-001
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/19/smarter-living/coronavirus-emotional-support.html
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/burnout-is-everyones-problem/id1346314086?i=1000468645838
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201311/the-tell-tale-signs-burnout-do-you-have-them
Coronavirus Online Therapy - COVID 19 support - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Online Support and Therapy
Ma Zen Space is proud to be a volunteer with the Coronvirus Online Therapy network of providers supporting our healthcare workers and first responders.
The world is experiencing a major moment of anxiety amidst the many social and emotional stressors and changes that have come with social distancing and the coronavirus. Healthcare professionals and first responder providers are especially at risk for burnout and emotional fatigue during this moment.
“Low Fee Online Therapy Sessions for those on the front line of Covid-19 in the USA Healthcare professionals, first responders, grocery store employees, and those out there serving us during this pandemic - we thank you. You are doing your part. We'd like to do ours, by supporting you with short-term, free & reduced fee sessions.”
For a nationwide search of providers, visit: https://www.coronavirusonlinetherapy.com/
If you are in Philadelphia or throughout Pennsylvania, find support by reaching out today.
Email info@mazenspace.com
www.mazenspace.com
Online Therapy in Pennsylvania - Online Therapy for Women - Philadelphia, PA
What is online therapy?
When life prevents you from making it to an in person session, there are other ways to find the support you need. Therapy provides a space for you to explore your anxieties, emotions, and struggles in a safe space. Online therapy provides this safe space via secure, encrypted connections so that you can access a virtually safe space with your therapist wherever you are. Choose a moment for therapy that fits into your day. Ma Zen Space offers online video therapy sessions - available for residents of the state of Pennsylvania.
Is online therapy a good fit for me?
As with in-person therapy, finding a clinician and mode of therapy that meets your individual needs is important. Prior to beginning online therapy, take time to identify if it is the best source of therapy for you. Are you comfortable communicating via technology? Would online therapy meet your goals and needs? The best way to identify if it is a good fit is to complete a free consultation with Megan. Ma Zen Space offers both in-person and online video therapy sessions. Online therapy is available for residents throughout the state of Pennsylvania. Email Megan at info@mazenspace.com
Is online therapy effective?
Online interventions offer a means to remove barriers to care and increase access to therapeutic support. Below are some articles and research which offer a beginning review of the potential of online therapy:
Articles:
“Why Online Therapy For Postpartum Depression Is Gaining Momentum” https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/11/15/online-therapy-postpartum-depression_a_23275879/
“Internet Therapy May Ease Postpartum Depression” https://psychcentral.com/news/2013/10/26/internet-therapy-may-ease-postpartum-depression/61212.html
“Postpartum Anxiety: The Other Baby Blues We Need to Talk About” https://www.parents.com/parenting/moms/healthy-mom/the-other-postpartum-problem-anxiety/
“Internet therapy for your anxiety” https://www.anxiety.org/can-internet-treat-postpartum-depression
“She didn’t have depression or anxiety; after pregnancy, she had both” https://whyy.org/segments/she-didnt-have-depression-or-anxiety-after-pregnancy-she-had-both/
“After Giving Birth, When Does Normal Worry Turn To Anxiety?” https://www.anxiety.org/mothers-suggestions-to-calm-postpartum-anxiety
“Why therapy during pregnancy should be required” https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/10/13/why-psychotherapy-should-be-part-of-routine-prenatal-care/
Research:
“Internet-delivered cognitive behavioural therapy in the treatment of psychiatric illness” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4771536/
“Home telemental health implementation and outcomes using electronic messaging.”
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22052966
“Client experiences of guided internet cognitive behavior therapy for postpartum depression: a qualitative study.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25109484
“Internet-based versus face-to-face cognitive-behavioral intervention for depression: A randomized controlled non-inferiority trial”
http://www.jad-journal.com/article/S0165-0327(13)00512-0/pdf
“Internet-versus group-administered cognitive behaviour therapy for panic disorder in a psychiatric setting: a randomised trial”
http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-244X/10/54
Linda Godleski, M.D.; Adam Darkins, M.D., M.P.H.; John Peters, M.S. (2014) “Outcomes of 98,609
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Patients Enrolled in Telemental Health Services,
2006–2010”
http://dx.doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.201100206
Barak, Azy, et al. (2008). “A comprehensive review and a meta-analysis of the effectiveness of internet-based psychotherapeutic interventions.” Journal of Technology in Human Services, 26.2-4: 109-160.
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15228830802094429#.VI8vaCvF_hs
Wantland, D. J., Portillo, C. J., Holzemer, W. L., Slaughter, R., & McGhee, E. M. (2004). “The effectiveness of Web-based vs. non-Web-based interventions: a meta-analysis of behavioral change outcomes.” Journal of Medical Internet Research, 6(4).
http://www.jmir.org/2004/4/e40/
Andersson, G., & Cuijpers, P. (2009). “Internet-based and other computerized psychological treatments for adult depression: A meta-analysis.” Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 38(4), 196-205.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20183695
HIPAA Compliance
Ma Zen Space utilizes secure data encryption via doxy.me and Gsuite applications for healthcare providers. All emails, video therapy sessions, and intake forms occur according to HIPAA standards.
HIPPA stands for the “Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act”. This is a government mandated privacy rule for standards of care for healthcare providers to secure your privacy.
Ma Zen Space
Ma Zen Space is the private therapy practice of Megan Bousquet and is based out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It offers a therapeutic space that supports women’s emotional wellness, children, and maternal mental health. Megan offers direct client to therapist sessions via both in-person sessions as well as online video therapy sessions.
To learn more, ask a question, or schedule a free intial consultation, email Megan Bousquet at info@mazenspace.com
New Moms and Motherhood - at Tula Yoga and Wellness in Philadelphia, Northern Liberties
Join us at Tula Yoga and Wellness in the Northern Liberties area of Philadelphia!
Northern Liberties Philadelphia, PA
Due to COVID-19, all sessions are currently being offered exclusively online.
It definitely takes a village. The transition to motherhood is one of the most profound, amazing, and challenging times in a woman's life. Whether you are a new mom, a first time mom, or an experienced mama, find connection and build your village. You are welcome to bring your little ones with you or come solo. Together, we will build relationships and a foundation of support for your journey of motherhood. Connect together in a space that is supportive and nurturing!
This is a donation based community class.
Please offer $5-15 according to what fits your needs.
Facilitated by Megan Bousquet, MA, ATR, LPC.
To learn more email Megan at info@mazenspace.com and visit Tula Yoga at www.tulayogaphilly.com
Therapy for Women - Philadelphia and the Mainline
Therapy for Women
Throughout a woman’s life there are many emotional shifts and it takes strength to reach out for support. I understand the many challenges and stress that sometimes might have you not feeling like yourself. Do you feel alone, anxious, tired, sad, angry, irritable, or stressed? I work with women who are experiencing anxiety, depressed mood, feeling overwhelmed & alone, grief & loss, fertility, miscarriage, transition to motherhood, and other life changing events. I have specialized training in anxiety, maternal mental health (pregnancy, birth, postpartum, motherhood), child development, & eating disorders.
Through working with me, you will gain perspective to resolve conflicts and problems, reduce stress and anxiety, increase self-esteem and self-awareness, build confidence, and achieve insight. My therapeutic approach is wellness based & utilizes a blend of mindfulness, counseling, CBT, & expressive art therapy.
I look forward to the possibility of working together and supporting you on your life's journey. I offer in office sessions in the Philadelphia area & online video therapy sessions to residents of Pennsylvania. Reach out to schedule a free 15 minute consultation so that I can answer any of your questions!
Connect today and find support by emailing Megan at info@mazenspace.com to ask a question or schedule a session. Individual in-person sessions available in Philadelphia and the Mainline, PA. Online video therapy sessions are available to residents of the state of Pennsylvania.
The Wisdom of Anxiety
Do you feel that anxiety is something you wish you could avoid? There are many messages in the world that tell us anxiety is something which reflects a problem, but it can also be seen as a gift. Anxiety is our body’s messenger for places within ourselves that need attention, need growth, need to be nurtured.
How do you know when you are feeling anxious? Do you experience intrusive thoughts or do you feel a shortness of breath? Does your energy shift? When you notice these feelings or thoughts do you think something is wrong?
What might happen if you began to shift your relationship with anxiety, and rather than seeing it as something to be avoided, you started to view it as something to be curious about?
Sheryl Paul believes that anxiety is a gift and something which can connect us to greater understanding and growth. Below are three things that she says no one tells you about anxiety.
Three things no one tells you about anxiety:
“Having anxiety does not mean that there is anything wrong with you - it is not evidence of brokenness or disorder.”
“In fact it is the opposite. having anxiety is evidence of exquisite sensitivity, high empathy and an internal communication system that is working in order. but if you are going to harvest the gems embedded inside of anxiety, you are going to have to shift past the shame based way that our culture sees it and instead understand that it is a gift and a wise messenger from the unconscious pointing you in the direction of healing and growth.” - Sheryl Paul
“Anxiety is a call to wake up…Anxiety is telling you that it is time to pay attention.”
“Anxiety creates distress flares letting you know that you have gone off course or that there is room to grow in your four realms of self.” The four realms of self are:
physical body
emotional realm
thoughts
soul or spirit
“ Anxiety attaches to different themes - Notice wherever your anxiety is attaching.”
relationships
sexuality
money
health
parenting
Which of these messages of anxiety, realms of self, or themes speak to you the most? Looking at anxiety through a new lens can help you to grow and expand through difficult areas of your life. Rather than something to be avoided, anxiety can be a helpful guide towards what you are needing to notice and nurture or shift in your life.
A Therapist can help you to explore the connections between your experiences of anxiety and the messages it is revealing to you. If you are feeling anxiety in your life, hoping to better understand it, and looking for a source of support to help you connect with it’s wisdom, contact Megan Bousquet via email to schedule a session: info@mazenspace.com
References:
Sheryl Paul’s website
https://conscious-transitions.com/
3 Things No One Tells You About Anxiety, by Sheryl Paul,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMZBXsnPag
The Wisdom of Anxiety, a book by Sheryl Paul
The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul - available on amazon
Miscarriage and the Silent Lonely Grief of Early Pregnancy Loss
The Silent Lonely Grief of Early Pregnancy Loss
Megan Bousquet, MA, ATR, LPC
There exists a collective cultural understanding to wait to share a pregnancy until after three months, largely driven by the fact that eighty percent of miscarriages occur during the first trimester.
Unfortunately, this leaves many women left alone when they experience a miscarriage. The majority of women lose a pregnancy before they have ever even told anyone that they were pregnant. Dr. Tara Narula shares this sentiment: “The culture says don't talk about your pregnancy until the end of the first trimester, which means when you lose your baby, there's not that outpouring of community support to give us love and embrace us.” This cultural norm only further isolates a grieving mother who is left to untangle complicated emotions of lost motherhood and grief, not to mention significant hormonal shifts. The loss is experienced as an invisible loss.
What is an invisible loss?
An invisible loss is one that is unseen, unacknowledged, or unknown by others. It can feel as if the loss is invisible and unimportant. Without it being seen and validated by others, there is no process for dealing with complicated emotions. This lack of support during grief is something that can intensify feelings of sadness, anxiety, and a general feeling of being alone.
"As women, so much of our sense of self is tied into motherhood and fertility. And when we lose a child, the feeling is, I somehow lost it, I failed, there's something wrong with me or my body, and there's a tremendous amount of shame and guilt. And we tend to insulate and not share that…”, shared Dr. Tara Narula.
In any other type of loss, there is an opportunity to grieve publicly. There is usually a support system and a ritual or ceremony that creates a process for grief. Only in early pregnancy loss is there no such opportunity. The burden of grief is carried silently and in secret.
The grieving process and complicated grief
One of the most difficult things about grief and loss is that everyone has a unique experience. There is not one path of grief. We each arrive with our own history of experiences, thoughts, and emotions. We each grieve in a unique way. “Normal” grief refers to when a person goes through the common stages of denial, sadness, bargaining, anger, acceptance, and finding meaning. However if the grieving process is unsupported and there is no space to process the waves of emotions, a person can get stuck. Complicated grief often resembles ‘normal’ grief in the first few months, however it then lingers and remains unresolved. It often results when the grieving process has been complicated by other factors surrounding the loss.
No matter how common, a pregnancy loss is unique to each woman and brings with it a wave of emotions. It is often the loss of unmet dreams, hopes, and expectations. For others it might feel like a relief of an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy. It can bring up previous unresolved losses, previous miscarriages, and result in depression and anxiety. And amidst all of these emotions, it can remain invisible and result in complicated, unresolved grief.
Factors that often complicate the grieving of an early pregnancy loss:
Privacy and Control Some women choose to share their experiences, others keep it private. However, sometimes the control over whether or not to share a pregnancy loss is taken away. Depending on your own experience, you might have felt forced to acknowledge the pregnancy loss in a way that was uncomfortable and this can complicate your emotional grieving.
Previous losses If a woman has experienced difficulty getting pregnant due to fertility issues, has experienced trauma, or has had prior life or pregnancy losses, these events often compound the grief and experience of an individual loss. Grief is often layered and each loss brings up prior losses.
Lack of Services Offered for the Emotional Component of Pregnancy Loss Medical Professionals might overlook the emotional component of the miscarriage or chemical pregnancy. It is common to hear stories about women who have gone to the emergency room and unexpectedly discovered that they are having a miscarriage. The doctors and staff provide the necessary resources to provide care for the woman’s medical and physical complications, but often overlook the devastating impact of the emotional trauma and loss of pregnancy.
How can therapy help?
In my work with women who have experienced pregnancy loss, it has become clear that every loss brings with it a unique journey of experiences, thoughts, and emotions. There are common themes however, and the American Psychological Association offers a few areas to explore for pregnancy loss and how a therapist can help best support women who have experienced miscarriage and pregnancy loss:
By providing a space - for unmet hopes, complicated emotions, grieving the loss, and a space to explore how the loss impacts emotional wellbeing. In short, creating a space for your grief.
By rewriting the story - A therapist can help you to explore issues of identity and offer space to tell YOUR reproductive story of parenting and pregnancy journey. The image you held of pregnancy and parenting has been altered and it is important to be an advocate for yourself, to give voice to your story. There is strength in sharing your story.
By finding a sense of balance - Pregnancy loss often brings a cycle of feelings of sadness and anxiety, wondering what could have been different, and ruminating thoughts of asking why and what caused the miscarriage. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a research proven method of therapy whereby a therapist helps you to cognitively restructure unhelpful thoughts such as failure, shame, guilt. Often women blame themselves and their bodies. They think, “I lost the baby, it is my fault, I am a failure.” However it is important to work to restructure these unhelpful self statements. A Licensed Professional Therapist can help you with this.
Why does it matter that the grief of pregnancy loss is processed?
When loss is not adequately given a space to be felt, acknowledged, experienced and supported, it can compromise emotional well being, impact body image and sense of self, complicate future losses, and alter attachment styles and bonding with other children and future pregnancies. Unresolved grief and anxiety resulting from pregnancy loss might also challenge personal relationships, confuse feelings about fertility, impact the experience of future pregnancies, increase the risk for perinatal anxiety and depression for future pregnancies, and leave a questioning of identity as a woman and a mother.
Early pregnancy loss can leave a woman feeling embarrassed, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to find help. It can be a lonely process, but it doesn’t have to be. By giving voice to pregnancy loss and expanding societal knowledge of factors impacting the way loss is experienced and supported, we can begin to provide a space for women to discuss all of the complicated emotions, to heal, and to feel more empowered and not so alone.
Ma Zen Space - Support for Women in Philadelphia and the Mainline
As a Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Art Therapist, my work combines cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and art making to help provide a sacred holding space to bear witness to the grief, restructure unhelpful ways of thinking, and create rituals to help process the grief.
Reach out and find support for your journey today by emailing Megan Bousquet at info@mazenspace.com or visiting www.mazenspace.com to learn more.
References and Additional Reading on Miscarriage, Grief, Loss, and Support:
Destigmatizing The Invisible Trauma Of Miscarriage
https://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2020/01/08/miscarriage-pregnancy-trauma-stigma
After a Miscarriage, Surviving Emotionally - American pregnancy association
https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-loss/miscarriage-surviving-emotionally/
Depression and Anxiety Following Early Pregnancy Loss: Recommendations for Primary Care Providers
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4468887/
What Michele Obama’s Miscarriage teaches us About Miscarriage - Washington Post https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2018/11/16/what-michelle-obamas-miscarriage-teaches-us-about-modern-pregnancy/
Breaking the Stigma Surrounding Miscarriage - via CBS news
Pregnancy Loss Support - How to support someone - Huff Post
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/pregnancy-loss-support_n_58c0aab1e4b0ed718269d8e1
Healing the wounds of pregnancy losshttps://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/05/pregnancy-loss
Conscious relationships and the power of bearing witness - Huff Post
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conscious-relationships_b_4333957
Complicated Grief - Mayo Clinic
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374
Different types of pregnancy loss - Verywell Family
https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-pregnancy-loss-2371413
Early Miscarriage is an Invisible Loss, but the grief is real - The Federalist
https://thefederalist.com/2019/10/08/early-miscarriage-is-an-invisible-loss-but-the-grief-is-real/
Perinatal grief - likened to disenfranchised grief - An introduction to the special section on psychotherapy for pregnancy loss: Review of issues, clinical applications, and future research direction. Psychotherapy,
https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2017-55835-005.html
Disenfranchised Grief In Postpartum Women: A Heuristic Inquiry Into Women 's Lived
https://repository.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1075&context=edissertations_sp2
Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Groups in Philadelphia, the Mainline, Narberth, Pennsylvania
Have you recently experienced the loss of a pregnancy and wondering what to do next? Are you feeling overwhelmed with waves of emotions and yet not sure who to reach out to?
Losing a pregnancy at any stage is difficult and you are not alone.
In grieving a loss, it is important to find an emotionally supportive space. Ma Zen Space loss support groups create a holding space where you can openly and honestly process difficult unresolved thoughts and emotions. There are no two women or losses that are identical and every mother grieves in her own way and in her own time. You will discover a sacred holding space to bear witness to the grief, restructure unhelpful ways of thinking, and create rituals to help process the grief. During Ma Zen Space groups, you will find a safe space of support and connection.
All Groups are facilitated by Megan Bousquet, MA, LPC, ATR - Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Art Therapist
Check our scheduled for current offerings : www.mazenspace.com/events
email Megan at info@mazenspace.com to learn more, have a support group started in your area, or ask a question.
Postpartum Support International - New Mom Support Online Support Group!
Postpartum Support International offers a free online support group -Tuesdays at 8am (Pacific time) / 11am (East Coast Time).
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/
How to be a good mother - It's ok to make mistakes mama....
In case you haven’t really heard that enough today, let me say that again… It’s ok to make mistakes mama.
Becoming a mother doesn’t change the fact that you are human and being human means that we are not perfect. No one is. And as for the perfect mother? That doesn’t exist either. There is no such thing as the perfect mother. It doesn’t exist. It is a myth.
Perhaps you have seen images of what matches your ideal motherhood, but know that those images are just moments in time. And they crop out everything that came before and after that moment. Because every baby cries, being a new mom is filled with moments of doubt, and mamahood is tough. It is exhausting. And most of all, it is filled with mistakes.
If you find yourself struggling with perfectionism, ask yourself the following:
What is perfectionism costing you….emotionally, physically, and mentally…. how is it negatively impacting you and your life?
Do you view making mistakes as a bad thing? why? where did you learn this? Realize you can choose to view mistakes as a stepping stone of growth.
Have you allowed yourself a space to let go? To show others that you don’t have it all together all the time? Maybe inviting a friend over when your house is a total mess and not cleaning it up on purpose? Try giving yourself opportunities of letting go of moments, spaces, or interactions where you tend to notice perfectionism.
Can you identify moments in your past where you have made a mistake and something positive came out of it? What were those moments?
Have you practiced compassion and kindness towards yourself today? Have you spoken kind words to your soul and acknowledged that today you were “good enough”?
Winnicott was a British pediatrician who researched and wrote on the concept of the “good enough mother”. The idea is that we actually benefit our children by having moments where we “fail” them because it prepares them for the mistakes and failures inevitable in learning and in life.
As parents, we are always learning about what works best for our children and our family. You might have read articles or books on how to get your baby to sleep through the night, but every baby is different, as is every mother and every family. What works for one baby, one mother, and one family is different from what works for every other. There is no one way of doing things, just as there is no “perfect” way to parent.
So take a breath and find a moment to acknowledge that you are on a journey of discovering who your child is and what parenting means for you. As you make decisions, you will make mistakes. Your mistakes are really just moments to learn, moments to grow, and moments to discover what works for you and your baby and your family,
Take a breath and prepare for the next inevitable moment to grow.
To read more about being a good enough mother and challenging perfectionism, here are some articles:
The Good Enough Mother, by Alexandria Sacks
Stop Perfectionism: 5 Techniques to be Happy with Good Enough by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy LA
Meditation for Kids as a Coping Skill for Anger, Stress, Frustration, Sleep and Managing Difficult Emotions
Teaching children about emotions and how to manage them is as important to their growth and well being as supporting the developmental milestones of walking, talking, sleep, learning to read and other skills. However, we often expect our kids to know how to do this without ever practicing the skills with them. Perhaps we never learned it for ourselves or perhaps we were taught to avoid emotions or to manage them in a completely different way.
However, research supports that mindfulness is a powerful way to harness the power of intense emotions. We can use our breath and focus during mindfulness as a tool for checking in with ourselves, a way to understand our experience, a means to modulate intense feelings, and as a tool towards growth and well being.
When we practice the skills of mindfulness when we are calm, we can more easily access our breath and mindful brain to manage feelings of anger, stress, frustration, and difficult emotions when they arise.
Resources:
Headspace is a paid meditation app offering guided meditation, breathing exercises, and activities to help train our brains towards mindfulness. They offer exercises for both adults and children. There are a few free preview exercises available on Youtube. I have listed some below.
Headspace for Kids on Youtube
Why Meditation is Just Like Riding a Bike
Headspace is accessible via phone, tablet and computer. Additionally, an interesting aspect to Headspace is that you can sync it to a home speaker system such as Google Home or Amazon Echo if you have one of these in your home. This allows your family to access mindful activities easily at moments when you need them.
Syncing Headspace to a Google Home Speaker: https://www.headspace.com/google-assistant
Syncing Headspace to an Amazon Echo Alexa Speaker: https://www.headspace.com/alexa
Dr. Dan Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry whose work focuses on the brain and emotions to promote integration as the heart of wellbeing. Integration that occurs internally in our brain and interpersonallly in our relationships.
Dr. Dan Siegel resource website links:
https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-mindfulness/
How To Teach Kids Social and Emotional Intuition - Dan Siegel, MD
The Mindful Brain - an audio excerpt of his book The Mindful Brain read by Dr. Dan Siegel
What is Interpersonal Neurobiology Video
How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids Video https://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/video_clips/parenting/
Getting Started with Mindfulness and Meditation
Have you ever heard the words mindfulness and meditation and wondered what exactly they mean and what the difference is between the two?
Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere, at any time, and in just a moment. It can be as short as a breath, an acknowledgement, or a glance.
Meditation is usually for a longer amount of time and is a practice that often incorporates mindfulness, breath work, postures of the body, and perhaps visualization. It can be a means of connecting with how we are feeling and learn about ourselves and our experiences.
“Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us…
Meditation is exploring. It’s not a fixed destination. Mindfulness meditation asks us to suspend judgment and unleash our natural curiosity about the workings of the mind, approaching our experience with warmth and kindness, to ourselves and others.”
Learn more at Mindful: Healthy Mind, Healthy Life
source: www.mindful.org
Mindfulness and Meditation Inspiration from Jon Kabat-Zinn
“Breathe and let be.”
“Meditation is the only intentional, systematic human activity which at bottom is about not trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, but simply to realize where you already are.”
“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.”
“Just watch this moment, without trying to change it at all. What is happening? What do you feel? What do you see? What do you hear?”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn,
Wherever You Go,
There You Are:
Mindfulness Meditation
in Everyday Life
For more on getting Started with Meditation and Mindfulness, visit www.mindful.org:
https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/?utm_source=Mindful+Newsletter&utm_campaign=7109579b8e-AUTOMATION__1&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b4e0293689-7109579b8e-48309101
Events Calendar for Ma Zen Space
Pregnancy, New Mom Support, Motherhood, and Women’s Wellness in Philadelphia Pennsylvania
Workshops, Support Groups, and Classes Calendar
Ma Zen Space Calendar
Here you will find a schedule of Ma Zen Space workshops and support groups .